Defining Rose Tyler
by WindyWords123
Summary: She became the Doctor's Companion, and so when they were separated, she wasn't sure who Rose Tyler was anymore. Musings on the Rose/Doctor relationship after Canary Wharf.


"Go away, Mickey." Her voice was muffled and hoarse.

He stood in the doorway and carefully surveyed what the lump hiding under the covers. He'd given her space, god knows she deserved it, but she couldn't hide away forever in this hotel by the sea.

"Sorry, Rose, but I can't do that. We need to talk."

"No, we don't." But her voice broke on the last word and she coughed – she hadn't been drinking much, this past week.

"Alright, Rose, then get up and make me leave." He hated doing this to her, hated forcing her like this. He loved Rose, not the way he had before, but he loved her nonetheless.

The lump didn't move. Mickey sat down on the armchair. "I know you don't want to hear this, but we're worried, Rose. Me, Jackie, Pete, and I'd bet anything that he's worried too, over in that universe of his. Thing is, though, this isn't about us, it's about you."

The lump didn't move. Mickey took a deep breath and continued talking.

"Now, I reckon I was an idiot once, and I still am, probably. But you've gotta see what you're doing to yourself. We've been in this hotel for days, and you haven't moved properly from that bed. The Rose I knew was stronger than that. I'm not gonna say I get you an the Doctor, cause I don't. That musta been the worse thing you've ever been through. But that doesn't mean you can just shut down an' die."

The lump twitched. Rose still didn't say anything.

"I knew a girl once, an' she was brilliant. She did a lotta stupid things, but she picked herself back and she lived, cause she was her own person even if maybe she didn't always see that. Then she met a guy and her life _became _that guy. An' I'm not gonna say he wasn't a good guy, cause he was. Best guy in the universe, or maybe even more than one. But the thing is, Rose, this girl started seein' everything as this guy. She started thinkin' of herself in terms of this guy, and she stopped bein' her and started bein' his companion, an' when he left she didn't know how to be herself anymore."

The covers rustled. Rose's face emerged to glare at him. Her face was pasty, still streaked with mascara she hadn't bothered to wash off, there were huge, dark circles under her eyes, her hair was greasy. She looked like hell, but she managed to glare at him. Mickey smiled at her. "I do _so_." She whispered, voice ragged.

Mickey shrugged. "Deny it if you want, but you're your own person, Rose, an' so is he. Remember Sarah Jane? The Doctor's lived a lot more n' you n' I, Rose, an' I'm not sayin' he doesn't love you, but he's more n' you, too. He's seen a lot of things and been around pretty much everywhere, and I don't think you're the only one in those hearts of his. Thing is, he's got more than you, and maybe you should have more than him, too. He's _gone, _Rose. I love you, but you can't do this forever and neither can we. Pete's got his business and Jackie's not gonna be happy stayin' out in the boonies forever and I'd do a lot for you, Rose, but I wouldn't help you sulk out here for forever, cause we're our own people, alright? And that's not fair for us. Even if you can't do it for yourself just yet, Rose, live for us. And maybe someday you'll see."

Mickey walked straight out of the room, heart aching. It was hard to criticize her like that, even if he needed it, even if she needed the criticism. But Rose, for all that she had seen, had a lot of growing up to do yet. And if the only way to do that was to make her take a good, long look at herself, he'd do it.

The next day, Rose was up and about. They drove back to the nearest city with an airport the day after that and within a week, Rose was working at Torchwood. As the months passed, the tears stopped flowing so readily and Rose even made some friends. She began to become, more than anything else, Rose Tyler. And maybe, just maybe, Rose Tyler could beat the odds once again and find her Doctor once again.

But this time, she did it for herself.

* * *

_Alright. So personally I love Rose/Doctor, but when browsing deviantart I saw this piece of artwork with most of the Doctor's female companions, and then Rose standing next to him, crying that she thought she was special. And then the bit about the artwork said how the artist didn't like how One Twu Luv Rose got by the end. Once you see that, it's really hard to unsee it, and it's really telling about their relationship. Rose is still very young, and she still defines herself by other people – you can see this with Mickey in the beginning, and it's easy to imagine what Jimmy Stone was like. It's actually very realistic. With someone like the Doctor, it's simple just to make everything about yourself be in relation to them. The Doctor loved her, IMO, but he also had his own life. He came out of the war and he fell in love and he attached a lot of value to that, because at that point there wasn't much else. But beyond that, Rose is not just the Doctor's companion, and the Doctor is not just the man Rose loves. This fic is actually to make myself feel better about this whole mess. _


End file.
